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Someone once told me that there is no such thing as a good marriage; there is only one you work at or one you don’t.  It takes consistent effort to build a marriage and we need all the help we can get!  I have now been married for six years and one thing is for sure: I still have a lot to learn about being married and about being a good husband.  The Bible gives us some amazing direction on how to be great husbands and build strong marriages.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (MSG)

It can be easy to make marriage about you, what you want, about being comfortable, about feeling good, instead of about making your wife great.  Ultimately, God calls us to love our wives with everything we got and to bring the best out of her.  As husbands, we need to take responsibility for how our wives are doing and bring out the best in them.

  • Do you go all out in your love for your wife?

To truly answer this question you have to look at what your actions or lack of action reveal, not just at your feelings. Do you work at it?

  • Do you have a vision for who God is trying to help her become? (Hint: Proverbs 31:10-31)
  • Do you sacrifice to make her better? To help her become more secure and confident?
  • What do you need to change and do in order to help your wife be the best she can be?

5 Tips to Love Your Wife

  1. Daily Openness – Talking about life, emotions, sin and what you really think daily. After you lead with honesty, be curious about her, ask questions, let her talk and listen. (1 John 1:7)
  2. Praying Together – Spending time praying together every week.  And praying for her daily. (James 5:16)
  3. Value Her Opinion – Getting advice from her on work, relationships, really everything.  She has strengths and insight that you will never have. (Proverbs 12:15)
  4. Help Her Succeed – Ask daily, “What does she need help with?”  Then take action and help her! (Philippians 2:3-4)
  5. Serve Her – Doing dishes, setting up dates for you to go out, making her bible studies, cards, flowers, gifts. Making time to just LISTEN and TALK. (Luke 22:24-27)

Written by

Nick Straw

Nick Straw is a Santa Clara University alum, and is passionate about ministry and community service work in the San Francisco Bay Area.